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#1 Jan 24 2013 at 9:20 AM Rating: Good
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First two thoughts I've had when seeing the commercials. Haven't really decided whether I'll see it or not. Probably not.
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#2 Jan 24 2013 at 9:36 AM Rating: Excellent
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I may not go see it in theaters, but I'll almost definitely see it at some point. I've been in a witch and fairy tale kind of mood lately, so it sounds like a thing to watch.
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#3 Jan 24 2013 at 9:38 AM Rating: Good
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Trailers make it look like a decent mindless action flick, so you know it's best to wait till it's on Netflix.
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#4 Jan 24 2013 at 10:27 AM Rating: Excellent
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I'll see it when it finally trickles down to Starz or something. Also, enough with the god damned "gritty fairy tale reboots". It's not even like "Hey, let's make this like the original story which was pretty dark" but instead some idiot says "Rumplestilskin as a child rapist and... he has rocket launcher arms. Someone get me Taylor Lautner on the phone and then let's go get lunch."
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#5 Jan 24 2013 at 10:34 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
I'll see it when it finally trickles down to Starz or something. Also, enough with the god damned "gritty fairy tale reboots". It's not even like "Hey, let's make this like the original story which was pretty dark" but instead some idiot says "Rumplestilskin as a child rapist and... he has rocket launcher arms. Someone get me Taylor Lautner on the phone and then let's go get lunch."



He spins gold from the shorn hair of his victims.
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#6 Jan 24 2013 at 10:56 AM Rating: Good
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Jophiel wrote:
I'll see it when it finally trickles down to Starz or something. Also, enough with the god damned "gritty fairy tale reboots". It's not even like "Hey, let's make this like the original story which was pretty dark" but instead some idiot says "Rumplestilskin as a child rapist and... he has rocket launcher arms. Someone get me Taylor Lautner on the phone and then let's go get lunch."


Preach on, brother.

You know that there's probably another 81 of them in some form of development right now, too. I can't imagine the amount of lost dollars if H & G bombs and the studios all pull their collective plugs.

Shaow wrote:
He spins gold from the shorn hair of his victims.


Nah, he's a vampire. You have to work in vampires or werewolves or witches, to hook the Twilight kiddies.

Edited, Jan 24th 2013 11:56am by Eske
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#7 Jan 24 2013 at 11:09 AM Rating: Good
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I'm waiting for Lil' Jack Horner, starring Jason Statham.
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#8 Jan 24 2013 at 11:16 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
I'm waiting for The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere, starring Jason Statham.


Not really a fable, but it's more of Statham's style. Also a British guy playing an American trying to warn people about the British is ironically hilarious.

Edited, Jan 24th 2013 12:17pm by Shaowstrike
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#9 Jan 24 2013 at 11:27 AM Rating: Excellent
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Jack & Mrs. Sprat: Mummy Warriors.

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#10 Jan 24 2013 at 1:41 PM Rating: Good
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Jack B. Nimble the movie!


He jumps over the candle stick.
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#11 Jan 24 2013 at 1:46 PM Rating: Good
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Karlina wrote:
Jack B. Nimble the movie!


He jumps over the candle stick.


Directed by Michael Bay
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#12 Jan 24 2013 at 6:14 PM Rating: Good
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Guillermo del Toro Presents: The Princess and the Pea

Edited, Jan 24th 2013 7:15pm by Spoonless
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#13 Jan 24 2013 at 6:16 PM Rating: Good
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#14 Jan 25 2013 at 12:39 AM Rating: Decent
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We need a George Washington Zombie Killer and Humpty Dumpty the Ghost Hunter movie. While we are at it how about Itsy Bitsy Spider the Necromancer.
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#15 Jan 25 2013 at 1:22 AM Rating: Good
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They took her sheep. It's the worst mistake they'll ever make.

Bo Peep
Coming this July to theaters everywhere.
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#16 Jan 25 2013 at 12:42 PM Rating: Excellent
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They should have let her go to the ball.
Coming in summer of 2014, it's...
CinderHELLa
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#17 Jan 25 2013 at 1:14 PM Rating: Good
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LockeColeMA wrote:
She was ready to burn up the dance floor, but they wouldn't let her go to the ball.
Coming in summer of 2014, it's...
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Edited, Jan 25th 2013 2:15pm by Shaowstrike
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#18 Jan 27 2013 at 10:49 AM Rating: Excellent
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Edited, Jan 27th 2013 10:49am by Jophiel
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#19 Jan 27 2013 at 10:56 AM Rating: Good
Don't look in the corner!



Little Jack Horner
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#20 Jan 27 2013 at 1:07 PM Rating: Good
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I guess this can go in this Hawkeye thread.
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#21 Jan 31 2013 at 6:27 AM Rating: Good
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Damn sexist comics, portraying women as independent and strong.
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#22 Feb 01 2013 at 9:24 AM Rating: Good
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"The boy who cried wolf" starring Nicholas Cage.
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#23 Feb 01 2013 at 9:53 AM Rating: Good
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Timelordwho wrote:
"The boy who cried bee" starring Nicholas Cage.

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#24 Feb 01 2013 at 10:20 AM Rating: Good
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I can't think of a good tag line, but the movie would be a re-telling of the Pied Piper in which a good natured exterminator isn't paid by the owner of an apartment complex for a year's worth of service. Facing many overdue bills he snaps, and one by one he leads the tenant's children away and sells them to make up the money he's owed.
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"We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
— James D. Nicoll
#25 Feb 01 2013 at 10:29 AM Rating: Excellent
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Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
Timelordwho wrote:
"The boy who cried bee" starring Jerry Seinfeld


PIED PIPER - He's here to collect what he's owed.

Edited, Feb 1st 2013 11:30am by lolgaxe
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#26 Feb 01 2013 at 10:39 AM Rating: Good
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lolgaxe wrote:
Shaowstrike the Shady wrote:
Timelordwho wrote:
"The boy who cried bee" starring Jerry Seinfeld


PIED PIPER - He's here to collect what he's owed.

Edited, Feb 1st 2013 11:30am by lolgaxe


Hmm, sounds more like a gangster movie tagline. How bout "Hamelin: Time to Pay the Piper."? We could make it the name of the apartment complex.
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