It sounds off to me also, although usually for birthdays in my family the person whose birthday it is gets dinner made for them. As we have progressed through life (a nice way of saying "gotten older") my wife and I will just make arrangements to take the other out for dinner. But the parents in our families usually offer to make their children whatever they request for their birthday(s).
As far as inviting people and not considering their likes and dislikes, that would be beyond rude and border on obnoxious in my opinion.
So, did you decide what to make?
btw, I think it's fabulous of you to prepare dinner for your family. I kind of miss the whole experience of doing the shopping and preparing a special meal for a special day. Going out for dinner is rather antiseptic in that regard.
It seemed especially odd to me since basically all the requirements are no fish and nothing too spicy. My little brother and my sister's boyfriend don't like too fruity or exotic foods but they're sh*t out of luck on that since neither of them is really a fan of fine dining anyway.
I'm not quite sure yet what I'm going to make but I know which beers I want and those I have to order so that's the hardest planning part I had to do.
Other than that, I'm thinking some sort of antipasto to start with, some smoked meats and Italian cheese, perhaps some salad as well. Not sure if I'll be making soup but it'd have to be a fairly light soup that can still stand up to a smokey stout (which will be accompanying everything up to and including the main course). I'm going with some grilled vegetables and a steak for the main course although I don't know the specifics yet I've once seen a recipe for an Argentinian steak that looked delicious and that'll be a big hit with my little brother and sister's boyfriend. For dessert I'm looking at something more fruity, I've seen a recipe for a variation on creme brulee with blueberries that looked really delicious and it's hard to resist the opportunity to play with a creme brulee burner.
And why not shake things up and cook up an amazing dinner for your and/or your wife's birthday? While it's a lot of work it's certainly cheaper than a restaurant and with the myriad of online recipe sites it's not that hard and lots of fun to cook up something impressive. Plus you get to pair wine and/or beer with food and that's so much fun to do.