His Excellency Aethien wrote:
Just saying that you're confused and why is going to be loads more helpful than not saying stuff because you're not sure.
Yeah, I can see that. I am doing that.
And what does religion have to do with legality?
One word: Shariah.
To elaborate, as we're planning to marry under Shariah law, and one specific version of it, the marriage will be invalid unless I fit the definition of Muslim as per that version of it. I personally don't agree with that definition, but that's what he's going by so it's an issue.
And you can always just ask him why he opposes what you want, may not get you a very satisfying answer but he might think about it.
Oh, but I know the answer. There's girls waiting to get married to him (more or less), he can't keep turning them down for 4 more years and his family won't allow an engagement that's longer than... 3 months or something, probably.
So, I don't know you very well at all, but this sounds strangely like my last relationship, except my ex didn't have guys lining up to propose to her.
Basically I was cool with being my version of Christian, which is believing in God, Jesus, etc, but I wasn't cool with taking the bible literally in every single instance, because it was written 2000+ years ago by people that had no knowledge of how the world actually worked.
But I played along with it because she was hot and I loved her and I thought she would realize I'm just a good person regardless of what I believed in.
Yeah, big mistake. I ended up hating the person I was trying to be for her because I knew that I wasn't acting how I would normally act.
You can't change who you are (at the core of your personality); if he can't accept who you are as a person, it's not going to work. If he can't set aside his definition of Muslim or whatever would hold you back, you shouldn't be with him. Just as my ex wanted the perfect Christian man, it seems your fiancé wants the perfect Muslim woman, which you profess to not being.
Anyway, that's my opinion. I personally can't be that selfless that I would give up my own beliefs for someone, and I can't lie to someone that I love for that long.