Ubisoft talks about the Assassin's Creed movie, re-announces a Watch_Dogs movie

The Assassin's Creed movie will have 'a real story' that 'goes all the way to the end.'

So, I hope you all knew there's an Assassin's Creed movie starring Michael Fassbender coming out, right? If you've been to any action movies in the last month, you may have seen a trailer for it. If you haven't, well, the trailer is above!

Today at their press conference, Ubisoft interviewed Assassin's Creed's producer and sort of re-announced a new Ubisoft film, based on the Watch Dogs franchise. This is not technically new news -- we first heard about this in 2013, actually. Today we got precious little information about the project. Yves Guillemot, Ubisoft's president, offered no further details besides the fact that the movie will:

  1. Exist, and
  2. Involve Sony somehow and
  3. Also involve the production studio New Regency.

Ubisoft has been much braver than other studios recently when it comes to putting videogames in cinemas. Sure, Activision went all-out with Warcraft, but Ubisoft made Prince of Persia, and when nobody liked that they still went and made Assassin's Creed, and now that Assassin's Creed is almost out they're hitting us with the one-two Watch_Dogs punch.

Look, we have no idea who's going to play the lead, or how seriously they're taking the cool-kid-hacker stuff, or what city they're setting it in, or whether it will be related to Watch_Dogs 1 or 2 in any way. I refuse to make any insinuations about its potential quality yet. But here's my one request, Ubisoft: do not allow it to star Aiden Pierce. The dude is a jerk! At least the Watch_Dogs 2 star, Marcus Holloway, looks a little bit cheerful. (But we've got until November 15 to learn whether he's also secretly a jerk.) And hey, Aisha Tyler offered to play him. I'd watch a hacker movie starring Aisha Tyler, definitely.

For their Assassin's Creed coverage, Ubisoft interviewed the film's producer, Frank Marshall. He's a veteran of Indiana Jones, Back to the Future, Hook, An American Tail, and a large number of other gems from my childhood. He's also eager to inform us that the movie has "A real story and an arc that goes all the way to the end," which is, you know, pretty bare-bones stuff when it comes to movie plots. What happens if your story doesn't make it all the way to the end? Does the cast start with some kind of Pokerap-style musical plot recap of the movie?

I am going to go see Assassin's Creed, even and perhaps especially if it is bad, but I definitely feel like Ubisoft seriously bungled today's announcements. We got practically zero new information and a kind of bizarre interview with a dude who seemed more than a little uncomfortable talking about the movie -- which I sympathize with, since he was probably in pretty alien territory today. But good luck, Ubisoft: making videogames into movies is an unenviable task. May you see good fortune in your struggles, I suppose.