Which presidential candidates would the Overwatch characters vote for?

November 8, 2016 by Jason Dafnis

It's important to know how our world's most powerful (we mean: heavily-armed) public figures lean, politically.

The politics of Overwatch’s near future aren’t easy to ignore. The original strike team was brought down by internal strife and public distrust. Its members have been saviors, villains, and government pawns in the public eye.

While only three current members call America home, what if the rest of the group received honorary citizenship and could vote for the leader of the world’s most powerful country to restore some of the group’s former clout?

Some will vote with their heads, some with their hearts, and all with a healthy dose of salt – but each will have to answer the same question: Who can make Overwatch great again?

Ana: Bernie

  • Ana served as second-in-command as a bunch of pissy men drove the original Overwatch team into the ground, so she votes for Bernie to unite Overwatch – and the world – under a single cause of peace. Maybe without all these wars to fight, these kids will finally find some time to come and visit her. Really, how hard is it to make one phone call every Sunday?

Tracer: Unknown

  • It’s hard to anticipate what Tracer will do because she’s already done it by the time you think to ask. Besides, if she changes her mind, she can just go back in time and vote for the other candidate, right? Is that how that thing works?

Winston: Undecided; Hillary-leaning

  • Scientist-not-monkey Winston thought that Hillary’s pro-NASA funding stance would make her a shoo-in, but too much time in /r/Harambe has him fucked all the way up.

Mercy: Hillary

  • Mercy’s position on public healthcare access makes Hillary a lock. Both also know what it’s like to be underestimated, biding her time while groups of angry men trade fire, and becoming a target only after her side takes the lead.

Reaper: Trump

  • Reaper's use of violence as a problem-solver endears him to Trump's belligerence and pro-torture stance. Trump’s ability to say the most outrageous shit with total impunity also speaks to Reaper; any one of the gunman’s taglines sounds like a Trump slogan.

Mei: Jill Stein

  • Trump’s promise to build ineffective walls notwithstanding, this climatologist aligns most with the Green Party for its environmentalist platform. Well-meaning but misguided, Mei would rather take responsibility for her team’s success than just support the people who can make her ideas reality.

Torbjörn: Trump (by absentee ballot while a turret does the legwork)

  • Torbjörn is nostalgic for the pre-omnic world. He forms opinions on cherry-picked instances of anti-human behavior by omnics, themselves victims of systemic prejudice. Trump's pathos and racially-charged messaging strike a chord with Torbjörn, despite his own ambivalence about first-strike policies and weapons technology.

McCree: Gary Johnson

  • Mercenary McCree chooses an invisible candidate that will make him feel like a team player without compromising his lone wolf strategy. This way, he can still stick an “I Voted” pin right next to his BAMF belt buckle and dodge blame for the outcome.

D.Va: Hillary

  • Hillary’s erstwhile demonization of video games still irks the esports pro-turned-mech pilot, but her position on net neutrality puts her at the top of the D.Va’s list. Besides, if Hillary doesn’t win, D.Va can always eject herself from the country, leaving everyone else to deal with the aftershock.

Soldier: 76: Bernie Sanders

  • Thirty years ago, a Trump/Pence ticket would’ve been more than enough enough to get Jack Morrison’s vote (an anti-politician and an Indiana boy running the country? Hell, yeah, man). Today, he doesn’t really know what’s going on in politics, so he chose the guy all the young people were twittering about or whatever. Damn millennials.

Bastion: Ted Cruz

  • A decrepit relic unconcerned with economic progress, social justice, or any form of motion, disdained by ally and enemy alike. A machine gun boy without a working understanding of politics. Mimics what he sees his teammates doing, but it just comes out shittier.

Genji: Hillary

  • Genji dedicates his cyborg life to eliminating global nuclear threat. With a tragic self-awareness belying his robotic anatomy, he realized that his greatest limitation – a penchant for intense violence – became an asset during the Shadow Moses Incident, where he helped prevent a new age of nuclear warfare. Hillary’s support for Barack Obama’s New START treaty handily secures his vote.

Hanzo: Trump

  • Literally only because Genji is voting for Hillary. He’s willing to steer the country toward chaos just to spite his brother – which, now that I say it, sounds like a character trait of an earnest Trump supporter, anyway.

Junkrat: Trump

  • Goading his opponents, lying consistently about the source of his wealth, taking erotic pleasure in blowing things up, and charging headlong into situations with no forethought – Junkrat is just one angry, irradiated racist voting for another.

Lucio: Bernie

  • A bubbly idealist, Lucio remains high-spirited and optimistic in the face of defeat for the good of the group. Ironically, he’d do better to vote against his instincts: Once he’s ready to cast his ballot, the entire team will disband and vote for the opposing candidate.

Zarya: Undecided, reluctantly Hillary-leaning

  • Weary of the gender stereotypes, sexism, and discrimination that comprise Trump’s social policy, Zarya feels like she has no choice but to vote for Hillary. She’ll try to pull her teammates to the ballot box to support her, but come November 8, she’ll ultimately stand alone.

Zenyatta: Not voting

  • Zenyatta never picks sides; he craves balance in all things and refuses to interfere in binary human politics. In truth, inaction is a myth and not choosing has consequences in democracy, but Zenyatta ignores that basic paradox because his side is better than the other side.

Reinhardt: Hillary

  • The group has to pick the leader they believe will best represent Overwatch to the UN. For the chivalrous Reinhardt, that person is Hillary, with her years of life experience and political expertise. His only regret is that no matter which way he chooses, not a single teammate will stand behind him long enough to see it through.

Widowmaker: Hillary

  • Believing one of many theories about Hillary’s capacity for conspiracy, Widowmaker has supported Clinton up to this point. She’s taking her obsession with covert crime a step further, too: Voting by absentee ballot, she’ll stake out the poll booth from high ground and slap on that visor. No one(‘s voting habits) can hide from her sight.

Pharah: Hillary

  • She wants to make her mother proud, but Pharah feels that the ideological justice she proclaims means voting for someone she believes in completely– someone with the hawkishness to unleash definitive military force while screaming loudly about justice.

Symmetra: Hillary

  • Though Symmetra suspects that most of her teammates will vote likewise, she’s afraid that miscalculations in judgment could tip the scales. She still encourages them to head to the polls, going so far as to lead them through narrow halls and suspicious doorways to the poll booths.

Roadhog: Trump

  • A sauerkraut boy driven by chaotic impulse, he repulses people while retaining the power to reel them in by force. He likes that Trump speaks his mind, which means – as it does for Roadhog – an incessant cackle and his own name on constant loop.

This article was written before Sombra's reveal, but if we had to guess, we'd peg her for anybody-but-Trump, given that whole US-Mexico wall thing of his. -ed